Doc,
You've probably come to the best conclusion so far: Just Say NO!...
As you've probably already concluded and as I discovered in my frustration you might have to go way back to the basic principles of a) why you work and b) under what conditions are you willing to work and finally, c) what are the parameters or thresholds that are not to be crossed in order for you to remain satisfied with your position, employer/employment, or your chosen career.
Go back to your values and look at each of the items:
A) Why do you work? Money/provision/financial stability, keeping you off the streets and away from the casino or Cabelos/BassPro Shop, etc., occupy your daylight hours instead of watching soap operas or Regis? Once you know this, you can assess if you're earning enough by taking on the average job offer (average being something within the tolerances set in steps b) & c) that will follow shortly).
B) Does tolerable work mean crawling through attics, digging in ditches, or do you prefer flying a desk and a computer? Does it mean you use your back, your brain, or both? Do you require a challenge, change or a new vista each day or are you more comfortable and well-suited to routines that are repetitive, rarely changing, or changing only marginally over the course of time.
C) What are the thresholds for your tolerance of undesirable conditions? One week a year you're called upon to do 60+hr/wk? Two weeks? 80hrs/wk? Do you readily take work home with you, and if so, how often? Do you take on work you're not trained for & what should you reasonably expect as a return for your investment (that being your added commitment & using your own learning skills to improve the work requested)? For how long would you work untrained or uncompensated for the real level of effort you're expending? etc, etc...
If you are able to 'just say no' at some point and take a step back to gain perspective, it will stop or ease the current whirlwind of both activity and mental anguish and allow you go back and compare your current practices against your values. You may find that you are hard-working, willing to accept the unknown , have a stronger-than-average work ethic and you are willing to help others succeed. Your downfall or weakness may be that you are more willing to give too much, rather than too little - until the well that feeds that spigot of giving begins to run dry. You need to set parameters in that case and stick to them so that you can pace your contribution to last the entire length of your intended career without giving too much nor too little.
I know you may find this laughable but I actually learned that concept from the IRS - they don't expect the citizenry to pay more taxes than they actually owe (although there are many that do and they are the middle to lower levels economically rather than the higher $/economic players).
Good luck & God bless you, it sounds like you're on the right track. Bring the wife or family out west for a vacation, in any case.
