Wow. Reading this string about brings a tear to my eye. I could have written Doc's post myself and then to see so many of you other guys have gone through this "down" time really amazes me.
As most of you know, back at the beginning of July I gave up my business of 10 years and went to work for someone else. One of the reasons that I did it is that I also lost that drive that I had when I started out. You know... hoping to get big, have a lot of jobs going, paying men a living wage (not just for them but something a family could live on also)as well as making a comfortable living for myself and my family.
After losing my a** on a couple of jobs and could no longer see that light at the end of the tunnel, I continued the business because it wasn't just a job it was "ME". I loved what I did so much that I did it far longer than I should have.
Even still when I tell someone that I'm no longer in business, its like I'm telling them that someone died.
The constant struggle of getting jobs, collecting money from customers and paying bills served no other purpose other than to make my suplier, insurance company and banker richer. This never ending cycle is enough to send anyone into what some of you are calling depression.
It was one day that one of my key employees (one of the guys that I was trying to take care of) screwed me over that I finally and literally said "Screw it all!" and gave it up.
As some of you said, sometimes a change is good. But, I miss "MY" business. But working for someone else is getting better.
Getting off at a regular time presents me with a new problem. What do I do after work?
I don't have to do any bids or any other paperwork. Don't have to return phone calls or go look at new jobs. Heck, I never had a hobby. Work was my hobby and my life. What do I do now?
I was working so much that it started affecting my marriage also. This is another reason that I quit.
I once had a girlfriend that was diagnosed with clinical depression and I recognized (or I thought I did)some of the symptoms in myself. I started seeing a therapist who is helping. Just having someone to talk to letting me know that I'm not the only one that goes through this type of thing is very helpful and reassuring.
The therapist says that I'm not suffering from depression and has prescribed no drugs or recommended that I get a physical. Although the physical probably wouldn't be a bad idea.
So my advice Doc is to definatelty talk to your doctor or possibly a therapist. I go every two weeks for about six weeks now. Costs me about $50 per visit. It does help. My wife has noticed a difference.
Your post was a step in the right direction. Keep going. And your apparent faith in God will always help.
The replies to the post were reassuring to me.
We definately have a great group here.
