Doc,
Several people have touched on this subject, However I feel that for your sake I should approach it directly. The feelings you describe are symptoms of something called clinical depression. Yes, many people may be saying to themselves, "DUH". But somebody needs to say it to you bluntly, The first step to getting better is to accept the fact then try to understand your illness. That is what it is, an illness. Something that can be managed to improve the quality of your life, if not cured entirely.
Please, Please talk to your doctor. You don't have to spend hundreds of dollars an hour to talk to a psychiatrist. Your family doctor or even your county clinic will be able to help you.
Let me ask you this. Do you get these feelings around this time of year? If so, you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I had a friend who would put his house up for sale every fall because he felt he could not put up with another Chicago winter. If you do get these feelings seasonally, you need to tell this to your doctor. Please don't be hesitant about this. It sounds like you've been depressed for a few years now. There are more people suffering from Clinical Depression in the United States than there are Electricians.
Your doctor may prescribe some medication for you (and I hope he does). Just because your on medication DOES NOT mean your crazy or there's something horribly wrong with you. The antidepressants they make now are not the psychosematic drugs of yesteryear. Pick up any womans magazine and you will find glossy ads with flowers on them for different medications, these are Antidepressants. The side effects are very minimal. However, you do need to understand that they are not like taking a Tylenol. It will take at least three weeks before they begin to make a difference. Because their effects are so gradual, you will probably not be the one to notice they are working. Usually your wife or kids will notice first that you are getting better and "not as moody as you used to be".
You said you've been feeling this way for a few years. Well you seem to understand that it is not going to go away on it's own. You've taken a great leap by reaching out to your friends, and we are your friends, for help. Please listen to me, and to us and get some help! It's the last week of September right now. I hope we get another post from you around Halloween to hear how your feeling. If you go to the doctor in the next week, you should be feeling a little better by then. Just think, Christmas might be a little better this year. Could it hurt to give it a try?
If you, or anyone else needs someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me at: Pearlfish<at>Ameritech<dot>Net
Good luck Doc.
Your friend,
Steve
