Paul, I keep abreast of events in my homeland, often with profound dismay at he antics of the lunatics now running the asylum.
It is now actually illegal to break-wind in England, as you release a greenhouse gas into the atmosphere by so doing. The UK EPA, [not to be confused with the real US EPA, a body entirely devoted to public health and not wringing the last drop of happiness out of hapless denizens], is forming new Warden groups , the Find All Rearend Toxins Squads.
Soon, the boys from F.A.R.T.S. will police public places, like pubs, football stadiums and parks, armed with trained sniffer-dogs searching out those responsible for those 'silent but deadlies' we all know so well. 'Catalytic shorts' made of knitted platinised 2-ply are the new fashion accessory of the decade. Those wishing to release pent-up body-fog must go to special F.A.R.T.S. centres, where unwanted vapors can be processed into fuel to run enviromentally-friendly electric-generators to charge up the batteries in the cattle prods.
Ah! Brave New World!
Alan
