Can't afford to be fit, I'm a pensioner! All those pratts on the telly- jumping about like maniacs and running the mile in 3 minutes 50, no good will come of it, you mark my words, time they're 50 they'll all be cripples! They want to get a proper blinking job, they do, like we had to! When I watch them Olympics, and the winner runs round sticking his finger up, I think, so? you can run fast?, SO WHAT!, I can paint my shed fast, I don't want a gold medal for doing it!
" And the gold medal for creosoting a 50 yard picket fence goes to... Alan Belson of England, in a world record time of 1 hour 22 minutes 10.305 seconds!" Bah! Humbug!
It's all done with drugs anyway, you don't think a normal bloke could fling a hammer 200 feet just by eating Oreos do you? My recipe for a long life is this; eat what you like, a bit of tobacco, ( clears the lungs that does ), and a nice glass of whiskey of an evening. Walk everywhere practical, and eat 5 pieces of fruit or veg per day. That's it, (apart from not getting overweight). Don't eat margarine,(full of chemicals)- eat butter, but less of it. Drink full-cream milk, all the vitamins are in the cream. Skimmed? Crap, you may as well put emulsion paint in your tea! Whats that? Secondary smoking? What a load of bilgewater, you've only got to go out on the street- a diesel truck goes past and Wham!, you just 'secondary smoked' 500 cigarettes! The only time I touch my toes is when I do up my bootlaces, and even then I think, "Is there anything else I can do while I'm down here?" Now, clear off young un, it's time for my nap!
Alan is my ideal fitness Guru. Even if I doubt that he will live much past 100. My grand father made it to 97 with the same philosophy and he fathered his last child at around 65. Hard work, clean living, a pipe and a measure of whiskey before bed.
If you have a wife who is a builder and can't stand to see someone sitting around idle, staying in shape is easy ;-) I have at least one major renovation project going on all the time. Keeps the lard out of my butt.
Alan Belson for electrical-contractor fitness advisor.
I agree completely, especially about the 'backy. I also only eat butter, was raised on a farm with not only a lot of cattle but our own milk cow and concur wholeheartedly about the milk (it was a guernsey Alan, YOU know), and BTW, though I can't get fresh raw milk anymore, it's Half and Half that goes in the evening tea.
Bless ya brother, and keep on preachin' it. I've known NO one that died of good health no matter what shape they're in.
I also am reminded by something attributed to George Carlin, the famous American Philosopher "I'm in shape.... Rounds a shape"
I run 4-6 miles 5 days a week. I've been doing this for 3 years now, after taking 15 off. I started running when my BP reached 150/115 and my weight reached 230.
My BP is now 115/69 and I weigh 195. I still need to drop another 30 lbs at least, but I'm on the right path. I hate every second of running. By the end of the week, my knees feel like they were hit with a baseball bat. When they go, I'll probably take up arm wrestling. In the meantime, I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my entire life.
BTW: I didn't change my diet too much. I eat what I want.