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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 55
A
Member
I swear this happened.
While in San Francisco my GF and I were looking out the motel window and she uttered this gem:
"Do they change those flags every day?"
I said "No, why do you think so?"
She said "Because yesterday they were blowing the other way".

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,803
Member
Sam, we will never understand woman-logic! laugh
At a script-reading many years ago the "prima donna" read, out loud to the assembled cast, that Sherlock Holmes lived at "Twenty two pound Baker Street", instead of 221b.


Wood work but can't!
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 939
F
Member
But Sam,,
We are from Delta city with wild lightbulb boncing around with our freind comming with us that freind is Mr. DC and he whine to them to come over but his car have bad relay and the feild winding is open so that why his battery powered car won't start and he want a new bussman fuse for it to make up the day.


Pas de problme,il marche n'est-ce pas?"(No problem, it works doesn't it?)

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,803
Member
Joe was born with five legs and always had, as you can imagine, the greatest difficulty in buying clothes. Then he discovered a little Jewish bespoke tailor’s shop in Bethnel Green. For Joe’s daughter’s wedding, the tailor made him a superb suit of the finest worsted. The jacket was double breasted, the fancy waistcoat was lined with golden silk and the pants fitted him like a glove.


Wood work but can't!
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 482
Z
Member
Dang it! I cut it three times and it's STILL too short!

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,803
Member
That's the last time I listen to Norm Abram too.
Measured it twice and sawed clean through my tape.


Wood work but can't!
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 984
Likes: 1
G
Member
When I was riding on a dinner train in Seattle, the guide announced that "we are now traveling over the highest railway bridge in the state".
I almost choked on my meal when an angry man started yelling "where? WHERE? I CAN'T SEE IT!"

True story...you just can't make up stuff as funny as real life is.


Ghost307
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,803
Member
smile Worth a try though Ghost! How about:

“Knock! Knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“It’s the electrician, I’ve come to fix your doorbell.”


Last edited by Alan Belson; 07/10/07 03:41 AM.

Wood work but can't!
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 2,498
T
Member
Gets worse...
Electrician rings the door bell... nothing happens. Rings again... nothing. Murmurs to himself: "Now that's what I love! Complain for ages that their door bell does not work and then they don't open the door!"

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,803
Member
Sherlock Holmes and Thomas Edison go on a camping trip to Niagara. They retire for the night, and go to sleep. Several hours later, Holmes wakes and nudges Thomas in the ribs.

"Thomas, look over yonder and tell me what you see."

"I see the lights of the power house, my dear Holmes, lit up by the marvel of electricity."

"And what, my dear friend, are the implications of that?"

Thomas ponders for just a moment. "It is the dawn of a new age Sherlock. Unlimited power will be generated for factories and homes. Domestic machinery will follow for many tasks and give freedom from drudgery. Our streets will be lit up and safe for the traveller. Our economy will expand, our democracy will strengthen and of course, I shall make a lot of money! What does it tell you, my dear Holmes?"

"I deduce, my dear comrade, that someone has stolen our tent.”



Wood work but can't!
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