I thought it would be nice to start a joke thread, Ofcourse it has to be clean.

I will start i just heard this.

a 64 year old man marries a 20 year old good looking hot woman, after 1 year they get divorced, 1 week later he marries another 20 year old hottie a year later he gets a divorce then he dies after a week.
After the investigation and autopsy, the coroner office reports that the 64 year old was never wired for two twenty.

Moderators if joke is not allowed in the forums please remove it.

'Weekend Warrior Electrical Guide :
Warning! May contain neuts.

It's your second phase that's the killer.

As long as they're not shared!!

Not really a joke but don't you find it amusing what some people think we can do? Like when they need a receptacle and they point to a one inch conduit running by with a 60 amp circuit in it and say "There's power right there" or when they have a flat roof and they want the new ceiling fan wires "fished in" with no holes cut.

I always say, part electrician, part magician.

I had a funny (and stupid) DIY style comment from a client on a 2 million SF office complex in a Chicago suburb.

We needed 100A of power and he pointed to a 30A twistlock and said "just tap off of that".

"She turned me into a neut!.... Well, I got better.... "

An electrician’s apprentice staggers into a bar with an exotic bird perched on his head.

Barman: “Hey bud, where did you find that?”
Bird: “Milwaukee – there’s thousands of ’em!
Say, do you sell beer to Mynahs?

Not a joke but still a situation that brings me to tears every time I play it back in my head.
I was foreman for a small residential crew and we were setting finish on a tract house when I had to leave the job to my right hand (young) man for an hour or so. I came back and found several ceiling fans sitting in their boxes in the family room that were not in the contract.
I asked him "Where did these come from?"
"The homeowner came by and left them" He replied.
"We've been over this. All changes have to be approved (and paid for) by the GC before we say we will do them!!!!" I reiterated.
"She said she spoke to him and its been approved." he replied.
I looked at him very apprehensively for several seconds.
He finally broke down and replied "I couldn't just say "No, your lying""
I burst into laughter turned and walked away.

Quite a few years ago, a jumper under a non-malfunctioned ram air parachute managed to get himself caught up on a high tension line. Most blamed inexperience and a total lack of approach planning. Me, I think it was just a phase he was going through.
Joe