How To Keep Your Sparky Happy:
Some Tips for Customers.
1. When asking for a quote, never be too specific about what you want done. Electricians like guessing games.
2. If you're having trouble with existing wiring, never volunteer information. Any halfway decent electrician should just know that the light in the hallway has been flickering for ages and that the trip thingy turns off when you switch on the washer.
3. No matter how low the quote for a job, always query the price. Your electrician will appreciate your concern at asking why he won't work for next to nothing -- Like you do!
4. Always paint and decorate a room before calling in an electrician to carry out work. He will appreciate working in a nice shiny new environment. Careful placement of lots of fragile expensive items in the work zone will be appeciated even more.
5. Remember that electricians are mountain-climbers and pot-holers at heart. If your main panel is mounted high up, pile as much junk up across the wall in front of it as possible. If it's located low-down in a dark cupboard, fill the cupboard to capacity with assorted debris. Old sneakers and tatty overalls and rags soaked in every chemical known to mankind are a good choice.
6. If you decide to change your plans part way through the job, never tell your electrician until he's finished the original work. He will appreciate your thoughtfulness in not interrupting him.
7. Always remind your electrician that your brother's wife's second cousin once removed worked as a janitor for an electrical company, so you know a fair bit about electricity. Demonstrate your knowledge by asking highly technical questions, such as "How many volts make an amp?"
8. Point out, frequently, that you would have done the work yourself if you had the time. Then follow your electrician around every second of the day, looking concerned and occasionally making "tut-tut" noises.
9. Electricians are like camels and don't drink while on the job. Never insult him by offering him a cup of coffee.
10. When the bill arrives, hold on to it for at least 3 months before paying. As your electrician doesn't really like to concern himself with money, he will appreciate your postponing the fateful day when he has to sully himself with such mundane matters and deposit your check.
