OK, I might get in trouble for this BUT:
I looked at some of the TDRs in the range that you need and they are very expensive and, I think, overkill. So at the risk of a DIY label, I would probably solve the delay problem with an SCR. I would use a flyback diode across the relay coil and return the coil to the - supply through an SCR. Add 1 resistor, 1 cap, and maybe a trigger diode for style points. The 12 volt supply will charge the cap through the coil and resistor. The SCR fires after a short time delay, flowing enough current to pick the relay. The cap discharges, at least partially, when the SCR fires. When you kill the supply the current from the back EMF flows through the flyback diode, the SCR turns off and you're ready for the next cycle.
I have seen a small, metal encased relay with just 2, .250" quick connect terminals on it. You put it in series with the load for a short on delay. I think that it is for 120AC loads though. I'll post it if I find one that will work at 12VDC.
Joe
