Ron F:
True story from a retired police officer I know.
He was assigned a radio call for a lady with a bat in her house. (The flying kind, not the baseball kind.)
He asked her for a broom, and proceeded to take a swing at the bat. She realized what he was doing, and started to complain that it would make a mess on her draperies!
He put down the broom, and told her that he'd be more than happy to leave if she isn't happy with this "service" which technically a pest-control company should be providing.
She got the picture. All that was needed next was a dust pan to transport the flat bat outside.
