Here's one I found a few years ago ..
ZZZZZZ ELECTRIC CO.
Y STREET STATION
I am writing this letter to thank you for the services rendered by your able employees. You will be pleased to learn that their timeliness easily outpaced that of any other workers employed by me. Indeed, they topped the record set by my plumber last month, when their scheduled 8:30 a.m. arrival occurred before noon twice in one week.
Also commendable were their efforts to minimize personal phone calls, visits from friends, beer breaks, and afternoon trips to Home Depot for unexpectedly needed items such as wire and a screw driver. This allowed each of them to put in a good three hours of work every day. Moreover, they were most agreeable when asked to shorten their lunch break to two hours, and made every reasonable effort to remove the pizza sauce from my living room rug.
Indeed, your staff's concern about cleanliness was consistently impressive. Within minutes of blasting new holes into our plaster walls they remembered to protect the floors. And although they occasionally left for the day without cleaning up the plaster, broken glass, and cigarette butts, their argument that it would only get messy again was quite persuasive.
I must confess to having heard some language last week that brought a slight blush to my cheeks. However, arguments between your supervisor and his assistant were, in the main, kept to a minimum. Only once did they come to blows, and my husband and a brawny friend were soon able to pull them apart. Fortunately for all concerned, hospitalization was not required, and our antique grandfather's clock is, thankfully, repairable.
Of course, the addition of several electric lines did create an unexpected bit of excitement. But most lines are functioning properly now and have been removed to their proper locations. How clever of your workers to think of enhancing the facade of our house with L-shaped metal piping, instead of burying the pipes in the hallway closet!
While I was initially disturbed by all the boxes and debris your workmen left behind in their zeal for an early weekend, their foresight was most fortuitous. Had I not been forced to recycle and dispose of everything myself, I would still be searching for my missing warranty cards. And they will certainly come in handy, should it turn out that my air conditioners' failure to work is not due to faulty installation.
I would be remiss not to thank you for delivering the equipment catalogues yesterday with your invoice. They made for delightful reading and would have been most useful and edifying earlier in the month.
As for your invoice, there remains the issue of certain adjustments for actual hours worked, time spent correcting errors, malfunctioning equipment, damages, etc. I expect to be in your neighborhood next Wednesday and would be happy to discuss your bill at that time. In fact, let me take the liberty of scheduling an appointment. You may expect me any time between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m.
Madeleine Begun Kane
Copyright Madeleine Begun Kane