In the spirit of "questions you get asked", I was thinking of the many lies we get told. Two of my personal favorites are these... And for some they may be familiar. I have had these two a number of times over the years...

1.) "Oh yes, we have that in stock - just come on in to pick it up."

2.) (On a residential service call) "Everything worked fine until a few days ago."

On item #1 of course the guy you talked to isn't in at the moment, but theres none of what you need "in stock", and the lead time is two weeks...

On item #2 your standing there looking at a 4-way switch with only one 3-wire in a box that looks like mickey mouse himself installed it, and its brand new romex in a brand new box, in an obviously poorly done HO hack-job basement remodel, and the outlets he said "just stopped working" were just never fed in the first place.

Well, it worked before you did that other thing...in the other part of the house...

From the Office.

1) Your contact will be there.

2) It will be a quick fix.

3) Its not that far.

4) It's easy to find

5) We will send the help you asked for.

6) We have that stock in the warehouse.

7) We have that tool in the warehouse.

8) Your extension Ladder will reach.

9) It will be unlocked.

10) Security will be expecting you.

At work
“Of course you can go on that 2 day training course” 2 days before course “ we cant let you go because we are short staffed”

“We appreciate the commitment of our staff” only to be told “ you are not getting a wage rise in line with inflation”

At home
“Now Santa will not come if you do not go to sleep”

“The tooth fairy will leave a coin under your pillow”

On pay day
“I need rise in the housekeeping money dear” (sorry mike your honeymoon will be over by now)

Finaly
“Next weeks lottery numbers are xxxxxx” (as if)

iwire,

You forgot...

1. The trench will be ready

(and it's close cousin)

2. The trench is deep enough

"That was existing"
"I didn't do that"
"We only did the service", 'that Hot Tub was there for a long time'

"We didn't touch that"
"Permit??"
"Did I check the completed job??"
"It worked a few days ago"
"We finished that job last year! What do you mean it failed?"
And many more...

Best one in the office may be:
"Where's the job folder"
or
"You can't have that many inspections!, we put a 'block' in the computer" (Which everyone knows how to override)

John

"It hasn't worked since you completed the job" - always at least a year later.

As if any of us leave a job without testing everything at least twice.

We had that recently. We said "two feet". They gave us, honest to god, two inches. We told 'em they'd better dig it deeper unless they wanted the pipe to double as a speed-bump.

My favorite: "It absolutely has to be done today!" And once completed, your work sits there for weeks before someone uses it.

-John

I can relate!

Customer "The GFCI breaker worked fine until you tripped it"
Me: "Did you test it once a month?"

1) We never received it

2) Yes, we checked the trailer
KB