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Where do we draw the line for permitts #153763 11/18/03 08:23 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,716
R
Roger Offline OP
Member
Some of you may have already seen this.


A true story from the files of the Michigan Department Of Environmental Quality

John Engler, Governor
Department Of Environmental Quality
Hollister Building, PO Box 30473,
Lansing MI 48909-7973

Russell J. Harding, Director

December 17, 1997

Mr. Ryan DeVries
[address deleted]
Pierson, MI 49339

Dear Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W, Sec. 20, Montcalm County

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.

The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all unauthorized activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the strewn channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that our staff may schedule a follow-up site inspection. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price District Representative

Land and Water Management Division



----Reply Letter----



Dear Mr. Price:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to. You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but you neglected to include their addresses. You will, therefore, have to send them a copy of my response.

First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor at [the address in question] - I am the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, nor authorize their dam project, I think they would be highly offended you call their skillful use of natural building materials "debris." I would like to challenge you to attempt to emulate their dam project any dam time and/or any dam place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no dam way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

My first concern is - aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said dam representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

If you want the dam stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition - contact the dam beavers - but if you are going toarrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter-being unable to read English) - be sure you read them their dam Miranda rights first. As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy - or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy Spring Pond. So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem; bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Sincerely,

Stephen L. Tvedten


©2000 John Boy & Billy Inc. All rights reserved.

Roger [Linked Image]




[This message has been edited by Roger (edited 11-18-2003).]

Building Codes & Related References
Re: Where do we draw the line for permitts #153764 11/18/03 08:30 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,374
R
Ryan_J Offline
Moderator
Ah yes, one of my all time favorites. thanks Roger, I always need a good laugh!

[Linked Image]


Ryan Jackson,
Salt Lake City
Re: Where do we draw the line for permitts #153765 11/18/03 10:02 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 558
G
ga.sparky56 Offline
Member
Good one Roger! I'd give a lot to see the look on that pencil pusher's face when he read that!

Russell

Re: Where do we draw the line for permitts #153766 11/19/03 02:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 7,520
P
pauluk Offline
Member
Great! [Linked Image]

Do we know if the Michigan Dept. of Environmental Quality ever replied?
If so, I'd love to see what they wrote.

This reminds me of some of the stories of civil service lunacy we get here, such as the Government works dept. which refused a request from the occupants of a government office for more frequent window cleaning.

Their reply stated that they could only consider more frequent cleaning if "there are exceptional circumstances, other than the fact that they get dirty." [Linked Image]

Re: Where do we draw the line for permitts #153767 11/19/03 04:47 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,389
S
sparky Offline
Member
reminds me of a leave it to beaver episode...
[Linked Image from tvland.classictvhits.com]

Re: Where do we draw the line for permitts #153768 11/20/03 07:10 AM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,056
R
Redsy Offline
Member
sparky,

The look on Beavers face is priceless!

Thanks

Re: Where do we draw the line for permitts #153769 11/25/03 07:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 518
J
John Steinke Offline
Member
In neighboring Utah, the EPA sited an open-pit mine for "elevated metal levels" in water sampled from the bottom of the pit. The CEO replied that they were doing their best to remove those metals as quickly a possible!


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