I'd say you have problems other than switch issues.
Sure, you can instal the switches so that 'down is off.' That will last right up to the first use. Do things 'out of sequence' just once, and all bets are off.
For example ... you enter the hallway, the lights are off, and all switches are down. You flip a switch up, and you have lights.
Now you walk the length of the hall, reach the other end ... and you flip that switch 'up' to turn the lights off.
They DO make illuminated 3-way switches, where the toggle is lit when the lights are off. They probably also make 'pilot' versions, which are lit when the lights are on.
Otherwise, there is a role for timers, motion sensors, and contactors. For example, overseas it is common for stairwell lights to operate for a timed interval from a push button at each level.
