Your relative probably means "gunite"; not "graphite".
First off, get a copy of the NEC that is in effect in your area, and go to Article 680.
Next, are permits required in your area???
Bonding is pretty straightforward, any metal over 4 sq inches, within 5' of the pool must be bonded. #8 SOLID copper, bare or green.
Basically the wiring:
PVC, a conductor with a "W" (THHN/THWN)
Read Art 680, it's not that tough.
If the FO lighting has a metal shell, it has to be bonded, it may be a plastic shell.
Have you tried "speaking" to your AHJ??? All of them (us) are not bad guys.