Not my stories but from another forum that I post in so from genuine repair men (not open to the general public)
Engineer calls to a machine under guarantee, to discover the problem due to a Bra Wire caught between the tub and drum. Explains to customer that Bra wires caught in machine are not covered by warrantee and therefore are fully chargeable...Customer: "Cannot be possible, I don't wear wired bra's, it must be part of the drum breaking up or something!" Engineer: I can assure you it is a bra wire caught inside and unless you pay me to remove it I am leaving right now!"...Customer refuses the diagnosis and engineer goes without comment.
Later that day the phone rings at the office, its 'The Husband' and sounding very apologetic, explains that he firmly agrees with the engineers diagnosis, furthermore agreeing to pay at least DOUBLE the cost to get him back and remove the offending article A.S.A.P !!!!
It transpired that the 'wife' was a 'Long Haul' Air Stewardess and whilst she was flying somewhere 1,000's of miles away from home, HE was having 'extra terrestial activities' back home, AND allowing HIS 'GUEST' the use of the washing machine as well Wink Wink
The bra wire was removed successfully as well as the husband when the truth emerged a short while later Shocked
Once upon a time long, long ago (1971 actually) I was 'Field trainer/supervisor' for BDA Hotpoint Ltd and our depot was based in Reading. Outside the office building there was usually a couple of Transit vans backed up against the wall (spare vans).
One day one of my 'engineers' limped into the office with a duff van and I gave him one of these spare vans and away he went. It was early evening so I went home and would sort his faulty van in the morning.
The next morning I found the police had cordonned off the entire trading estate (including The Reading Evening Post works) and hundreds of people were walking about in total frustration and confusion. I asked a policeman what the problem was, he said there was a 'Bomb Scare' somewhere near to the 'Hotpoint Building' and for everyones safety they shut the whole estate!!!
2 hours later the Army Bomb Disposal Team shot by, sirens blaring. Another half hour later they left and declared the area safe and everyone was allowed to their respective workplaces. As I approached the Hotpoint building, 3 burly policemen, arms folded, clicking their heels Smile were standing next to one of the spare vans.
"Do you work here sir?" they asked. "Yes!", I cowered. "Who is responsible for the vehicles parked here sir?"....Quick as a flash I replied "George Morris the Manager, why, what's up?"...."It appears sir that someone left a box of fridge thermostats and several absorpsion fridge heating elements ( Laughing they looked like sticks of dynamite Laughing) UNDER THIS VAN!!!!"
It appears the previous evening in my haste to set up my engineer with a spare van, I didn't transfer all the boxes of spares over Embarassed
Call booked in last week to a Hoover vented drier no heat.
As I got there she says the phrase that grates " I only want to know if its worth repairing"
Up here its a no call out charge area, but deffo charging for estimates and they are told on the phone if theres any doubt.
So I carried on knowing that it's a ¬£15 local estimate.
Twenty minutes later she's informed that the stat has gone and the price. Declined repair so she is charged ¬£15.
Then I get the "WHY?"
She gets out Yellow pages and says" look it says free estimates" and points to the ad. I say "no it says no call out charges" and do the same.
Her husband duly pays up (not a peep from him.....who's wearing the pants springs to mind)
So I called back to the office to warn of the impending chav on the warpath.
Ten minutes later I get a call back. Yes, they rang accused us of false advertising :roll: and telling us that we should advertise the fact that we don't do free estimates. To which she was told " But we dont do toast or sell jam either, should we put that in!"
I get a call from a 'Research Centre' in Compton, Berkshire. They have a Hotpoint W/m not spinning, give me instructions to ask for Lab No 4, where the errant machine is located. I get there, sign in, receive a lapel badge and am directed to the 'lab'.
At the lab they say that I must 'strip off all my clothes, take a shower and put on special protective clothing. Confused I asked "What about my toolbox, does that need to come with me into the shower?" Shocked ..."Aah no they reply", slightly puzzled at the problem over my toolbox, "We will just wrap it in a protective film for you to take it into the lab after you have showered!"
I take a shower, in the changing room there are various sizes of new 'lab clothing' to change into, from underpants to wellington boots and 'hairnets' (obligatory). I sort out a full set of 'gear' then enter the lab, shortly afterwards they reunite me with my toolbox wrapped tightly in what appears to be cling film.
They show me to the Hotpoint WM series which stands on a pedestal with its own drain tray and RCD power supply.
After unwrapping my toolbox and lifting the lid of the m/c, I quickly diagnose it wants new motor brushes. I then proceed to the exit and am confronted by yet another member of staff. "Just popping to my van to get a pair of brushes!" I tell him............."In that case you will need to take yet another shower and change into your outdoor clothes, then on your return, hand me the brushes, then take a shower and put on new lab clothing....!"
I went through this lengthy process again, the whole job took me all morning to complete. I invoiced them around ¬£195 for my troubles and they paid up within a couple of days, however a month or two later they are back on the phone to me saying they have another machine in another lab that has broken down.............Against all my principles of good customer relations and good business ethics, I tell them to **** ***! and get someone else to take a shower, not me pal!!!!!!!!!
This isn't exactly work related but did happen while sat in the HPT van having my butties in an area of North London that at that time was having a vice clean up.
I was parked up near a block of shops after buying lunch when I got a tap on the passenger side window.
As if from nowhere (no, not Mr Benn) a bedraggled looking woman had come out of a block of flats and sidled up to the van.
Now at this time, lets say I must have been suffering from an attack of severe green-ness. I opened the window to be asked was I looking for business.
Being the company type ROTFL and not wanting any more work that day I replied" Sorry love. I don't do private jobs!"
Exit one flummoxed working girl.
Once I came to my senses and realised what she meant I got to my next call and collapsed in a fit of giggles.
I arranged to meet a customer at her house during her 'lunchbreak from work'. Nice simple job changing a door gasket on a Whirlpool but as time was getting on the customer said "Could I possibly pay you now for the job and go back to work, otherwise I'll be a bit late and you don't need me here anyway?"....I agreed, she settled the bill and said "Just drop the latch on your way out!"...and left.
Unfortunately, and what I didn't realise until a short while after she had left, is that she had re-set her Burglar Alarm on her way out. A few short minutes later the alarm went off, front and back of the house (which I wasn't too worried about at the time) but then a neighbour spotted this 'stranger' in the house and called the police. All this was going on while I was simply run testing the Whirlpool and packing up my tools and stuff.
When I went to go out of the front door some minutes later with the deafening sound of the alarm in my ears, I was confronted with an army of neighbours AND the boys in blue!!!
'Ello, 'ello,'ello, what's going on 'ere then?... and all that good stuff....!!!
Loads more to follow just keep off those cigies Alan