"Spectrally correct photometrics"

(i think i chipped a tooth on that one...)
NEXT!


~S~

How about:
"xxxx has patented an apparatus and methodology for determining, to an exact science, the amount of capacitance that is needed to optomize inductive motors to unity for maximum savings"

Direct quote (except for brand name to prevent lawsuit) from sales literature for a 'up to 25% savings on your electric bill'

Is the optional optical operator operating optimally?

I think that was from a radio commercial.



Speaking of important sounding, heres an oldie but goodie:

In 2005, there were 3,482 unintentional Hydrogen Dioxide related deaths in the United States, an average of nine people per day.

Hydrogen Dioxide is killing our children. Hydrogen Dioxide is the second-leading cause of death among children under the age of 15.

Children under five and adolescents between the ages of 15-24 have the highest hydrogen dioxide related death rates.

An estimated 5,000 children ages 14 and under are hospitalized due to Hydrogen Dioxide related incidents each year; 15 percent die in the hospital and as many as 20 percent suffer severe, permanent neurological disability.


The U.S. Government has known about the dangers of hydrogen dioxide for many years. However lawmakers refuse to address this desperate situation. Hydrogen Dioxide needs to be outlawed now.

Hydrogen Dioxide can be found in many food, and beverage products Americans consume on a daily basis. And as the above statistics indicate hydrogen dioxide can be deadly.

Please sign this petiton, and help us force the hand of our government to Ban Hydrogen Dioxide now.

Now, I'm no chemist, but...

Impossible.

Hydrogen Dioxide free photometrics....?

~S~

How about these from Rockwell?:

The "retro encabulator"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVZ8Ko-nss4&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuhYd9L_d7w

The Di-hydrogen Oxide scare was cooked up by Penn and Teller as a gag.

They had every activist signing it right and left. Not ONE person in their target groups new that the offending chemical falls from the sky and would be most difficult to ban.

I had a co-worker use the word, "Visquenating" as in the art of hanging visquene for vapor barrier

I LOVE the Retroencabulator.
I had a co-worker who kept telling me that electrical work was the easiest thing in the world...so I sent him that video with the sales engineer describing the machine with a straight face while standing in front of the MCC.
It's so smooth and professional that most non-technical people fall for it if the gag's set up right.

I never had another "your job is dead easy" comment from him again.

Good jokes are invaluable (and timeless).

How'bout, " I am from the government, I am here to help!"

Nope...that's the third "Great Lie of the Universe".

Number 1 is "The Check is in the mail".
Number 2 is "I promise I'll respect you in the morning".

The hydrogen dioxide bit reminds me of Adam Corolla and Jimmy Kimmel passing a petition around to end women's suffrage.

I think they even got people at universities to sign it.