bye,bye .......

walked off the job Saturday,

but left two guys holding the bag

now we need another doofy saga.
you can narrate a story real well ... and keep an audience wanting for more

YOU walked..or doofy?

I had promised my publisher at least a few more chapters...they gave me a large cash advance...what am I gonna do now?

Togol, you waited until today to report this startling news? This is a big deal!

Just wait. He'll probably sue you guys - say he was forced to leave by all the general negativity in the air concerning his otherwise superior work. Unfair pressure and all that.

HEY! We could write it for you, as per French Electrician's famous masterpiece of last year!

"That's that job completed", said Doofy, stepping straight into a full box of brand new fluorescent tubes he'd left under his ladder. Suddenly.....


[Remember, no religion/politics/keep it clean...]

the shop foreman came around the corner to see what all the noise was,& he said i thought you were installng those in the fixture, so doofy replies...

"These are the 'bad ones'"....doofy hopes no one will notice...

"That way theres no way we can get busted for toxic waste in the dumpster. Nopw they're just broken glass - Right?"

From the backround....

"Thats right doofy....."

We need a theme song for the TV series....

HOWL,

now YOU guys are cracking me up,

now don't confuse me Celtic, I think I'm still there and he's the one that drug up........

Radar, man you don't how close you are to the bullseye

reno , How about the "Shaft " Theme...
bada da, bada da, bada da daaaaaa

bada da, bada da, bada da daaaaaa
Who is the man,
with the Fluke T5 in his hand?????

Doofy......Geoff Doofy

who turns left when he mean't to go right,
spinnin in circles all thru the night.....

Doofy...
..dam right!!!

they say that cat Doofy,
he can't add for Sh....
shut yo' mouth.....

but I'm talkin bout Doofy.......

Alan, I apologize for breaking the chain...
GREAT idea........
here we go....

Also,said Doofy, the reason most of these lamps were out ....is because they're the wrong voltage , so I'll just leave them here

the foreman,while noticing his hands are beginning to tremble,
walks away shaking his head...........

Let me guess: Doofy's uncle, mayor of the town two towns down the road, hired him to be that town's AHJ....

"so," says Doofy, to himself, "I better replace all these wrong-voltage fixtures"
Doofy goes to the stock room and (literally) drags out brand-new T-5 fixtures from the stock room over the rough concrete floor

(edited for spelling)

[This message has been edited by Elviscat (edited 07-21-2006).]

...and stumbles over a discarded hi-bay fixture. Doofy announces aloud:
Someone needs to clean this place up...but that's not my job, I'm not a laborer (janitor, porter, etc)...I'm a cracker-jack electron tamer!
I'll just shove it over here...behind this forklift - out of sight, out of mind...that's what momma taught me...

...and unwittingly stepped on the cord, amazingly yanking the batteries out of the forklift, spilling acid all over the freshly refinished concrete floor.

In his horror, he turned to run away, slips in the acid, and...

Had cheap dollar store rubber boots and dish washing gloves on for ppe and they started to melt away causing his skin to burn

he then does an about face and stomps off into the darkness muttering something about the lack of supervision,
walking past a crane that has sparks flying out of the main hoist motor , Doofy then hops over a smoldering hydraulic pump and lunges at a worker who is using an air-powered grinder and starts yelling at him saying...." this needs to be on a GCAIF you idiot, I should.........

"..Argh! What was that?" A 50 Gallon barrel of casting sand bounced, [ luckily, off his head so it didn't hurt!], and spiraled crazily off up the foundry. Suddenly crackling over the Tannoy system came the strains of the "Dambusters March" and maniacal laughter. Up in the roofspace, the grandson of Fl. Lt. 'Big Joe' McCarthy*, DSO DFC & Bar, prepares to launch a second sandbarrel 'bouncing bomb'. Unfortunately, just then his first missile hit the main panel and snapped off the paper clips Doofy had used to connect the....

... #6 Al. Temporary "Jumpers", running an 800 Amp MCC for the Machines + a 400 Amp Gear Section, which the front Offices + Computers are fed from.

After a few Minutes of darkness, some people attempted to "Try getting the lights back on" - while others stumbled around, looking for "Doofy - the God O' All EeeLeck-Trickle Stuff Known To Mankind".

Suddenly, off in the distance, a Siren was heard - then another; then 3 more!

It seems that good 'ol Doofy was met by......

...his arch nemisis - the FIRE DEPARTMENT.

Yikes.
Maybe if I drop my "props" and grab this mop...

an 18,000 pound "Clipper" hub, that was being moved by one of the high bay 125T cranes,whose operator had been frantically blowing the travel horn to get Doofys attention.....the impact sent his already dented hardhat on a collision course towards the second bomb and caused a premature detonation which in turn, had the hilarious effect of.......

[This message has been edited by togol (edited 07-22-2006).]

...having Doofy turn towards the camera and saying "But the good news is I just saved a bunch of money by switching my car insurance to Geico"

Unfortunately, Doofy used his renowned wiring skills to install a new car stereo, setting the dashboard on fire, and making his Geico claims adjuster....

..deny the claim, based on the "No Doofy wiring allowed" clause, which was hidden in the fine print of the policy under Section ND-1, Part 6, Paragraph 4, Subpart 3, Sentence 2, Words 7-200, inclusive.

Doofy then decided to whip out his trusty "How To Wire Anything" book, and quoted the following NEC section to the claims adjuster:

[This message has been edited by mxslick (edited 07-22-2006).]

[This message has been edited by mxslick (edited 07-22-2006).]

but as he opened the book, ..... on which someone had hastily scrawled
" INSURANCE ADJUSTERS ROCK " in silver Sharpie® ......

seven crisp $1 bills corkscrewed slowly thru the air and landed on top of a $5 Supercuts coupon. The adjuster...... who couldn't believe how cheap Doofy really was, wrote Policy CANCELLED on the claim form and handed it to Doofy who was literally dumfounded that his bribe had not worked.

and then the smell finally hit him......

Possibly my English is too weak... I don't get it.

...said the new eastern european secretary, Gloria, recently hired. "Surely", she mused, "leaving all this perfectly good electrical stuff lying around the foundry is not good for profits?" Of course, Gloria, [ for it was she ], mused in her native Hungarian. But her English is very good actually.
Overhearing her perplexed question, the crane driver, [ for it was he ], helpfully explained:
"It's all a surreal joke at the expense of that ostoba Doofy, him over there with two dents in his hard hat. If you'd like to join in the fun, just make up something to keep the story going."
Just then Doofy turned and walked back toward our little party, but tripped over a cable that some dolt had carelessly tossed aside and....

...fell into the inspection pit. Gloria was staring for a second, as she was from central-Europe, if there's a need for ambulance, but he lifted his hand showing that he missed the sick-leave again.
I'm not as good in story telling as Leslie L Lawrence, but this guy is a brazilian soap-oper hero. There's always something happening to him.
Just as last time while they went fishing and tried the new electrical...


[This message has been edited by Gloria (edited 07-25-2006).]

AEMC 5070 5Kv megger that Doofy bought on ebay for $9131 USD to use for electro-shocking fish and troubleshooting car stereos.

Doofy also thought it would be really funny if he first clipped the megger leads to........

...the door handle of his favourite shack, just to make fun of his mate. But as he went for beer, he simply forgot that and...

[This message has been edited by Gloria (edited 07-25-2006).]

...carelessly grabbed the door, shocking Doofy and causing a fault current back to his panel which he had installed without main breaker protection. So the fault caused a major blackout in Queens, New York. When the authorities came looking to see what caused this blackout, they found Doofy still hanging on to the refrig door and they said...

-wow, I've seen a thing like this some time ago, when my cousin...

tried to make an electric fence with 120 VAC and shocked himself.
Then the authorities smelled ionized air and burning plastic, and looked up at the ceiling where the noise was coming from and saw...

dcolores9.....( Doofys twin brother BTW )
....peeking out from the ceiling, his face blackened with soot from the spectacular failure of a multi-tap light fixture Doofy had assembled earlier.
One of the para-medics now on the scene had aTaser® and was planning to use it because he thought dcolores9 was a racoon.
suddenly and without warning Doofy was coming out of his stupor and began to mumble .........

[This message has been edited by togol (edited 07-26-2006).]

...suddenly and without warning Doofy was coming out of his stupor and began to mumble .........

..."Where is my Ronco reversible, ratcheting, oscillating, combination light bulb remover and fluorescent tube straightener,..I left it on TOP of the ladder,..anyone see it??" Doofy mumbled almost to himself..
...and at that precise moment, friends,..one by one, the remaining HID fixtures went SUPER-NOVA and exploded, sending a torrent of hot, molten glass and quartz shards actually melting THROUGH the protective plastic lamp shield and onto the throng of "lookie-lou's" below, who had gathered to marvel at the spectacle that was Doofy's lightshow...

...He stood there,..mouth agape, wondering what could've possibly gone so awry.."Could it have been the wire nuts I found in the cellar?"..he quizzed himself..."Nah,..couldn't be,.." he said reassuringly to himself..."Oh well, time to go home".. and with that, he happily left the scene of chaos, mayhem, and destruction to go home, rest,..and return the next morning to start another day..



[This message has been edited by Attic Rat (edited 07-27-2006).]

..after admiring his latest project in the basement of his surburban home, the bathroom (but is it really a bathroom with no sink? ) with the PVC water heater pipes and the recycled Federal Pacific panel, complete with a water-cooled spare circuit breaker.

Doofy is a big fan of cartridge fuse holders, as they remind him of the days of his youth, where he and his dad would.....

edited for spellins

[This message has been edited by mxslick (edited 07-27-2006).]

...Knock-knock!

Someone's at the door. The memories of tzhe good old days were spinning in his head while he opened the door and saw two rather angry policemen staring at him.
Wondered why, then he slowly realized that something bad should have happened that day, but he couldn't really see what is the point.
The policemen in fact has been running after him all the way, jumping after him from tram to bus, and running across thousand streets trying to catch him and get the data. All they wanted is to finish for today, get this guy in prison, writing reports, and go home, to watch NFL. Now this guy stands here with the face that they'd probably like to smash like a pie, seem to fail to understand the meaning of their presence.
He asked...

Are you here about the concealed plumbing fittings? 'Cause I didn't know they had to be accesssible until the guys on the forum told me. Honest!!!

"Some folks here are putting it about that I'm incompetant!" he spluttered. "Well that's a lie! I got my comp insurance policy right here!"
[Fumbles in pocket, profers crumpled warranty certificate for 'Hoo Flung Dung Electric Works Inc. Shanghai. Chinese Megger, (written in every known language except American), $9.99 at Wall Mart].
Suddenly, it went dark!
"Hey!", said Doofy, "who turned the lights out?!"
With his nightstick extended, Officer Grimshaw slowly lifted the rim of the aluminum reflector that had dropped with a satisfying "Plop!" from the roofspace onto Doofy's head.
"Funny you should ask that," said Officer Grimshaw, allowing himself a small, wry smile. "We were about to ask you the same question! Now...."

...grab your things and come with us.
As they arrived to the station, they put him in the cell, and went to write the report.
He sat there still mumbling something about somebody badgering his reflector. He looked up and saw a cable coming out of a woodden box near the roof on the wall. It had a strange buzzing noise coming out. He had to ...