This doesn't in any way apply to ECN, of course!

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

16 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

6 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

50 to flame the spell checkers.

48 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

7 to argue over whether it’s "lightbulb" or "light bulb".

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

154 to email the participant’s ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".

118 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

1 to ask if when buying a new bulb they should go for a screw or bayonet type.

98 to argue that their version of screw in or bayonet is better than the other and always will be.

27 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

14 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s.

3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

19 to quote the "Me too’s" to say "Me three".

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"/

4 to say "didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

Puts things in perspective, doesn't it?


Bill

There's a joke at my church about how many Lutherans it takes to change a light bulb...

...CHANGE..??!!

Mike (mamills)

How many psychiatrists does it take to change
a lightbulb/lamp? Just one but the bulb has to really want to change.I know, terribly old and stale, but I couldn't help myself.

Change comes from within...

How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?

I'm going to run the numbers and then check with the general manager. Sit tight and I'll be right back. I think you're going to like these numbers....

(a new one I just saw for the first time...)

whats a lamp? ive never seen a light bulb,how does it work?

[This message has been edited by sparkystudent (edited 08-05-2004).]

That's it, I am quiting, I can not take all this controversy.

I think the operative question should be:

"How many electricians does it take to relamp a luminaire?"

Is the new bulb listed for the purpose?

LM*AO

Is it covered by Part P?

Better check with the union as well - wouldn't want a walk-out...

I AM NOT A "LURKER"

Well,
I'm going to take the New Age approach to this question
<cue: Whale sounds>
{Also read this bit in a Mr Hanky voice}
Now, you materialistic folk really don't know, how a Light bulb really feels, do you?.
To have 120 or even 240 Volts like my cousins, fed in through your b/side and you expect us to put out all that light and heat, you should be ashamed of yourselves!.

LOL

How many ADD kids (or adults!) does it take to change a light bulb?

Wanna go ride bikes?

Q: How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in VW microbuses!


Q: How many deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 5. One to hold the bulb, and 4 to do bonghits until the room spins!

Thanks for a great Saturday a.m. laugh... wanna go ride bikes now?

"Well,
I'm going to take the New Age approach to this question
<cue: Whale sounds>
{Also read this bit in a Mr Hanky voice}
Now, you materialistic folk really don't know, how a Light bulb really feels, do you?.
To have 120 or even 240 Volts like my cousins, fed in through your b/side and you expect us to put out all that light and heat, you should be ashamed of yourselves!."

Who's Mr Hanky? :P

Who's Mr Hanky? :P

You really dont want to know

[This message has been edited by dougwells (edited 09-11-2004).]

He plays in South Park?

How about 1 AHJ to red flag the whole job!?

A variation on the lightbulb joke:

Q. How many MicroSoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None. Bill Gates just defines darkness as the new industry standard.

**BUMP**

In the cinema business, the best way to start a fight is bring up what to call the light source for a projector:

The device for providing the light (luminare) is known as a Lamphouse;

The device which produces the light is technically called a Xenon Short Arc Lamp, but:

It's referred to as a Xenon Bulb, which rankles the so-called engineers;

The manager who's calling about the explosive failure of the Xenon Bulb just says that "something blew up in the Christie {A very popular brand of Lamphouse} thing and now the screen is dark.";

Of course, none of this debate matters to the 500+ pi***d off people who don't get to see the rest of the movie!!

The real fun begins when you try to talk to the 16-year-old popcorn kid who barely knows how to thread the film and needs help to get the show running again. Makes a lot of the folks y'all run into in the trade seem downright intelligent!

Arrgghhh! Noooo! We've been Lurked!

Lurk away I needed a good laugh this morning.

How many Apprentice Electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it'll take him about 3 years.

How many Journeyman Electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb. And one to pound it in with a jack-hammer.

How many Electrical Contractors does it take to change a light bulb?
Who knows, they're always kept in the dark!

How many Electrical Contractors does it take to change two light bulbs?
Still only one. But first, he'll have to rewire in a new 200A service right back to the panel.

How many hack 'electricians' does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. But first he'll have to go to the supply house for a couple rolls of duct tape.

How many French electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to figure how to get the bulb out of the packaging, one to turn off the power, one to drive the van to the cafe for the two hour lunch, one to solder the wires onto the bulb tits, and one to telephone for an ambulance.

Alan

Wouldn't the French guy give up immediately and wait for the allies to come do it for them.

Put me on trial I'm guilty of lurking!
Variation on the Microsoft Joke:
"How many Windows Users does it take to change a light bulb? None, they all switched to Macs.
You can guess what OS I use!

Ian

[This message has been edited by Theelectrikid (edited 07-11-2005).]

Alan said:


{Think "Bevis and Butthead" here:}

"Heh,heh, he said bulb tits.."

Seriously, do the French still use solder-on connections for their luminares?

Lurker? I resemble that remark...LOL
Besides, it's fun to bring back some topics from the forgotten...

Well, I guess I asked for it posting that, since explaining a joke usually ruins it, but to answer the questions;
Soldering bulbs. A surreal thought, but the French use identical bulbs to the US/UK, screw in or bayonnette & I only 'soldered the wires to the bulb' as lead-in for the 'ambulance' punch line.
Oh dear!, (Oops-a-daisy!), 'Beavis + Butthead t*ts' means exactly the same in the UK, but also means a mechanical projection too, as well as a group of small garden birds. What was I thinking!
Waiting for the allies?, Yearning more like, but they whiled away the time fruitfully with the resistance movement. If your house is ablaze- wait for the Fire Department. Good joke though!
Alan

But if that light bulb is in a walk in closet does it have to be AFCI protected? Would you give me the code citation please?

Ok. How many electrically-qualified persons does it take to change a light bulb in a walk-in closet?
Dozens, but it's a hypothetical question, since there will be too many to get them in there all at once.
Hey! good fun trying though, especially if you have a couple female apprentices!
Alan

Paul,
LOL, I never saw this one in the original post.
Rings true though!.

Mulling over in my mind about the maquis (French Resistance), in my post above, reminded me of when I met two of the real thing in 1972 in Vire, Normandy: Henri and Albert d' Agneaux, brothers, now sadly probably passed on - they must have been 70+ then. Albert had got caught and sent to prison in 1944 but was saved when the GIs arrived, Henri getting away by sailing a dinghy to England. One evening, over several verres de calvados ( and most of my bottle of duty free scotch! ), Henri reminisced over their exploits making 'black-powder' bombs and derailing bosch trains. Next morning hanging over,( in all senses) bols de cafe, the two insisted they would show Denise and I how it was done. We went to a small paddock in the bocage, where Albert drilled a 2" hole deep into the bole of a felled oak, while Henri gave instructions. The whole of a bag of powder went into the hole, followed by a rammed newspaper and a fuse. There then followed a short voluable argument on how much fuse was needed, till Albert deftly cut it off 1" from the stump with his baccy knife! Immediately, Henri lit it and shouted "Allez!!" I have never lived down being overtaken by two seventy year olds and a slip of a girl, ( I was 31 ish then ) and we barely got 50 yards when it went off! The stump took off in two massive chunks, sailed over the bocage hedge and landed in the rural lane, taking out the phone line, this damage to public property being given the 'gallic shrug'! We shook as much earth out of our scalps as possible and, terrified, made our excuses and left! - but the two old buggers had their blood up! From the safety of the old farmhouse we heard the 'crump' of several tree-stumps being uprooted, till they came back flushed and ready for their lunch!

Alan

Great tale, Alan! This is the type of story that makes history worth recording, in my opinion! Thanks!

You got what??? Never seen one all my life! And the girls at the elestrical engineering school are mostly "beware"!

Tex,

How many Austrian electricians does it take to change a light bulb in a walk-in closet?

Why, dozens, all male, because many Hans make light work!

As far as the girls at the Electrical Engineeering School are concerned,...(wait for it!)... "Look Ma! No Hans'!"

Sorry!!!

Alan

:| groan...

Hey Paul, do you mind if I copy this joke over to another forum I belong to?
Ian A.

Go right ahead. I "borrowed" it from elsewhere to begin with!