In the spirit of "questions you get asked", I was thinking of the many lies we get told. Two of my personal favorites are these... And for some they may be familiar. I have had these two a number of times over the years...
1.) "Oh yes, we have that in stock - just come on in to pick it up."
2.) (On a residential service call) "Everything worked fine until a few days ago."
On item #1 of course the guy you talked to isn't in at the moment, but theres none of what you need "in stock", and the lead time is two weeks...
On item #2 your standing there looking at a 4-way switch with only one 3-wire in a box that looks like mickey mouse himself installed it, and its brand new romex in a brand new box, in an obviously poorly done HO hack-job basement remodel, and the outlets he said "just stopped working" were just never fed in the first place.
Well, it worked before you did that other thing...in the other part of the house...
From the Office.
1) Your contact will be there.
2) It will be a quick fix.
3) Its not that far.
4) It's easy to find
5) We will send the help you asked for.
6) We have that stock in the warehouse.
7) We have that tool in the warehouse.
8) Your extension Ladder will reach.
9) It will be unlocked.
10) Security will be expecting you.
At work“Of course you can go on that 2 day training course” 2 days before course “ we cant let you go because we are short staffed”
“We appreciate the commitment of our staff” only to be told “ you are not getting a wage rise in line with inflation”
At home“Now Santa will not come if you do not go to sleep”
“The tooth fairy will leave a coin under your pillow”
On pay day“I need rise in the housekeeping money dear” (sorry mike your honeymoon will be over by now)
Finaly“Next weeks lottery numbers are xxxxxx” (as if)
iwire,
You forgot...
1. The trench will be ready
(and it's close cousin)
2. The trench is deep enough
"That was existing"
"I didn't do that"
"We only did the service", 'that Hot Tub was there for a long time'
"We didn't touch that"
"Permit??"
"Did I check the completed job??"
"It worked a few days ago"
"We finished that job last year! What do you mean it failed?"
And many more...
Best one in the office may be:
"Where's the job folder"
or
"You can't have that many inspections!, we put a 'block' in the computer" (Which everyone knows how to override)
John
"It hasn't worked since you completed the job" - always at least a year later.
As if any of us leave a job without testing everything at least twice.
The trench is deep enough.
We had that recently. We said "two feet". They gave us, honest to god, two inches. We told 'em they'd better dig it deeper unless they wanted the pipe to double as a speed-bump.
My favorite: "It absolutely has to be done today!" And once completed, your work sits there for weeks before someone uses it.
-John
iwire,
You forgot...
1. The trench will be ready
(and it's close cousin)
2. The trench is deep enough
I can relate!
Customer "The GFCI breaker worked fine until you tripped it"
Me: "Did you test it once a month?"
1) We never received it
2) Yes, we checked the trailer
KB
The check is in the mail.
The 3 great lies of the universe:
1. The check is in the mail.
2. Of course I'll still respect you in the morning.
3. We're from the government and we're here to HELP you.
1) We never received it
2) Yes, we checked the trailer
KB
He he he...
I have actually gotten in my truck, driven to the job and found the missing items for the electrician, then put it in their hands.
Do this a couple of times and they look a little harder before they claim it's not there.
This is a good thread too.
Brings to mind what happened to us the other day.
"We're not pouring concrete for that section of the slab until next week" Only to come in the next moprning and they have a pump truck set up with concrete flowing. Mad scramble to get the final preps.
Oh this one is for those who run crews, but I think others have touched on a simular note.
Comment:
"We're out of... (4s deeps, or what ever!)"
Reply:
"No way...." (you walk over to the supplies and trip over a whole case on the floor in in plain view)
Tem minutes later:
"We're out of ... (EMT connectors or what ever...)
Reply:
"No way...." (You walk over to the supplies and the contents of 3 boxes worth are scattered in a corner - but still in plain site gleaming in the mid morning sun.)
Ten minutes later....
Ten minutes later....
Mark, that reminds me of...today.
I had a full box of MC connectors on my cart, and everybody was scraping and scavenging. I forget they were there, label up in plain sight.
Monday.
I get so worn out with GCs lying about when their job is ready for the electricians. They'll tell me they need me on Monday and we show up ready to roll and nothing is framed yet. The response is always, "I didn't think you'd be here before Wednesday." Jst because they have to lie to the plumbers, HVAC guys and drywallers doesn't mean they have to lie to me!
Here is one for the inspectors out there "I was gonna get a permit for this but they needed it done real quick so I was going for it afterwords."
Owner: "I didn't change/touch anything" (said in a straightfaced way by the homeowner who is standing in front of a three gang switch box missing the cover, the ceiling light canopy is dangling 1/2" from the drywall, the three way on the other side of the room is bulgeing a 1/2" out of the wall because the wires behind the switch aren't folded into the box, etc,etc....)
Me: Uhhh....yeah of course not...."so originally the switch didn't work and now the breaker is tripping each time you work the switch?" (maybe because the neutral is now tied to the hots in the ceiling J-Box you idiot?)
Sigh...still I suppose it is just a bit more job security when these goofs pull all the joints apart because of a bad switch and give you an excuse to charge three hours to ring-out all the wireing to figure out how to put it back together right.
Me: This data looks odd - are you sure it's correct. If I work on it you wont be able to change it afterwards.
Them: Yep it's all correct.
Them (two weeks later): Hey remember those analyses you did - well the original data was incorrect.
Me: I could have had a 2 day free vacation.
Another one I get every so often:
Them: On these calculations here, your math is wrong, the answer is all screwy.
Me: How do you know my math is wrong? (I do math for a living - you'd think I would get it correct once in a while)
Them: The answer is not technically possible.
Me: OK I'll re-check it. (getting back to them later) No - as was the case when we returned the job the first time - the math is correct, and that's the right answer - plus my secretary is sending another $1200 invoice to your cost center from engineering.
Them: (Indignantly) Well its wrong, and we're not paying engineering for incorrect answers.
Them: (two weeks later) OK you know that error you made in the calculations - well in the specs we submitted we had XYZ listed when it should have been ABC - I'm sure it won't make all that much difference.
Me: OK I'll re-do it. (getting back to them later) Here's the second correct answer - plus my secretary has a second $1200 invoice for your cost center from engineering.
Them: Youre screwing us!
Me: It's not my fault you submit jobs that you didn't want us to do, then have us re-do them cos you think we were wrong and only then realize you actually need to submit the job you wanted done in the first place. And you're amazed we are billing your CC for 3 jobs, why?
Yea, when your plant manager (PINOCCHIO) tells you so many times that he need a piece of production equipment wired up and running right away because they need it and then it sits there 2 to 3 weeks before it is used.
Oh Fred I know that one.... "Oh yeah - the framings done and the plumbers are gone and were just waiting on you to rock!" Framing aint done, missing walls, missing blocking, and the plumber just started and you just screwed your whole schedule to go there.