And you WONDER why you're significant other sends us pics when we need 'em??

LOL
(instructions NOT included)

After being married for 27 years, now I find out why it takes so long to be able to push all her buttons, or in this case turn them.
-Mark-

well all of us married gys will go to bed with out supper tonight if the wives get a whiff of this!

So what does the red knob do?

So...
It is easier to turn on a man than it is a woman?

Several in our office seem to think the bottom (women)is oversimplified for men to handle.
There should be no numbers-its all a guessing game.
Each time you view the panel, the switches and dials should be in a different place.
Each time you touch a dial, the variable change will be different from the last time.
Just our take on this item.

I Knew IT!! Now the following makes Sense!!

OSHA

Material Safety Data Sheet

TO BE POSTED IN ALL WORK PLACES

WOMAN - CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Woman

SYMBOL: WO

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 110 lbs., but know to vary from 100 to 600 lbs.

OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface of face usually covered paint.
2. Freezes for no reason.
3. Boils without warning.
4. Melts if given special treatment.
5. Bitter if used incorrectly.
6. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
7. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great relaxation aid.

TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one.

rkukl,

EXCELLENT!

And I thought I had it all figured out when I discovered the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman.

A picture is worth a thousand words. Showed this to my wife and she said "it's a guy thing".

Printed this, took it to work and showed it to some people. All I said was that it can be interpreted any way you want to. Heard some pretty good comments, even from women. That was last week.

Yesterday morning, my boss gave a verbal warning to not bring anything offensive like this to work again. I couldn't believe it!

Is this picture offensive to anyone?

(Webmaster, please feel free to delete if I've went over-board here...)

Well, you can't go around showin' pics of a woman's knobs!

I'm gonna burn for that one...

Offended *&@# NO! I find it pretty accurate actually. There are some major differences between the sexes - and personally I like it that way. (Makes my life easier)!!!!
Admitted guys, you are frustrated at times with the ladies in your life due to their complexity - but you also find them mysterious, cause she knows where all your "stuff" is - which reduces your anxiety level. All you have to utter are four words " Honey where's my _________".

I am one to admit, I am glad I am married - rather than single. Wonder what Sparky66's opinion is?

I've always found 'ol Sparky a pretty smart feller. Let's see IF he answers that one

Sparks55 I once worked at a major metropolitan prison. There was a ZERO tolerance policy. If you said "Good Morning" to a female coworker, and she said she was offended, you lost your job, if someone in the room said they were offended, you lost your job. I am NOT kidding one little bit about this and it happened to several coworkers. Any offense, you lost your job (also read pension, benefits, leave, etc.) Now go to another employer, tell them you were fired for sexual harassment......see if they hire you.

I don't speak to women, don't forward jokes of any kind, communications are in writing and very formal, except in a formal meeting where I weigh EVERY remark VERY carefully even though I am away from that environment.

I hope it is not that bad where you work, but be careful.

There's a company here that has a "7 Second Rule" whereby a person of one gender is forbidden from looking directly at a person of another gender for longer than 7 seconds or it is considered a sexual harrassment infraction. Talk about extreme! How does anyone get any work done while they worry about every minute detail of conduct?

I had a sign in my office that reads:

Sexual harrassment will not be tolerated in this office... although it will be GRADED. All those not making the grade will be reported.

Great pic & "analysis" guys, had me roaring with laughter!

I'm afraid we've got this political correctness nonsense over here as well. Some folk just ain't got no sense of humor.....