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#14504 09/26/02 10:35 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 440
Likes: 3
Member
Bren, Scott35,
Thanks for your reply. The support from the forum has really helped more than you all know.
As I wrote to another member of the forum, I think a few years ago I gave to much of "myself" to my job. The guy I was working for at the time saw what I was doing, and did nothing to help. I realize that I received a paycheck for working, but I went way beyond the "call of duty". My wife thought the kitchen table was a "print table" because I always had the "next bid" there. Over time I began to see how the my boss "used" people. I realized (as I learned how the "office life" worked) that he took every advantage of me that he possibly could. I saw how he treated others behind their back. As time continued, I continued to "burn the candle at both ends". I was trying to "project manage" during the day, and bid jobs at night. On top of that, I was going to school 2 nights a week to get my master's license. After I landed my master's, I think he was afraid that I was going to quit, and leave him in a bind. So, he hits me with a raise. That raise was hollow at best. He gave it to me one day over lunch, and it was about as empty "spare" conduit stubbed into a lay-in ceiling in a telephone building (by the way phone buildings aren't adding equipment, they are replacing it with smaller equipment that does more work, and faster). Finally one day I just stopped. I told him that he was going to have to manage the projects if he wanted me to bid work, and though he never agreed to do it, that's exactly what happened.
Where, you may ask, has all this taken me? I realized that the reason that I was taken advantage of, was because I didn't step in, and say no. The conclusion is that it was my fault. That may sound alittle self critical, but I think, if you take a close look, you'll agree. So, in that regard, I grew. I learned, but the effects of it all were still there. I became totally apathetic. The last job that I bid for him was a 15KV project. I had never bid one, and have done very little Medium Voltage work, but I put the estimate together anyway. Some of you may remember the post. We missed it by $1000.00. In a $475K bid, we missed it by a $1000.00. The company I am working for now was "courting" me pretty hard, and I went for an interview on a Thursday afternoon. The next morning (a Friday), I went to work, and received a "pink slip". I was totally blind sided, but it was actually a relief for me. The company I now work for called me on Sunday, and offered me my present job. I told them "maybe", and called back a few days later to except. The effects were still there. I grew, but the daily application of the knowledge I obtained is lagging behind. I know these things to be true. I have a great life, and I am valuable, but the wound is still open, and the taste in my mouth is still bitter.
Thanks to all. I shall overcome.

Purple Heart in hand,
Greg
The Watt Doctor


The Watt Doctor
Altura Cogen
Channelview, TX
#14505 09/27/02 03:02 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 328
B
Member
Doc,

You've probably come to the best conclusion so far: Just Say NO!...

As you've probably already concluded and as I discovered in my frustration you might have to go way back to the basic principles of a) why you work and b) under what conditions are you willing to work and finally, c) what are the parameters or thresholds that are not to be crossed in order for you to remain satisfied with your position, employer/employment, or your chosen career.

Go back to your values and look at each of the items:
A) Why do you work? Money/provision/financial stability, keeping you off the streets and away from the casino or Cabelos/BassPro Shop, etc., occupy your daylight hours instead of watching soap operas or Regis? Once you know this, you can assess if you're earning enough by taking on the average job offer (average being something within the tolerances set in steps b) & c) that will follow shortly).

B) Does tolerable work mean crawling through attics, digging in ditches, or do you prefer flying a desk and a computer? Does it mean you use your back, your brain, or both? Do you require a challenge, change or a new vista each day or are you more comfortable and well-suited to routines that are repetitive, rarely changing, or changing only marginally over the course of time.

C) What are the thresholds for your tolerance of undesirable conditions? One week a year you're called upon to do 60+hr/wk? Two weeks? 80hrs/wk? Do you readily take work home with you, and if so, how often? Do you take on work you're not trained for & what should you reasonably expect as a return for your investment (that being your added commitment & using your own learning skills to improve the work requested)? For how long would you work untrained or uncompensated for the real level of effort you're expending? etc, etc...

If you are able to 'just say no' at some point and take a step back to gain perspective, it will stop or ease the current whirlwind of both activity and mental anguish and allow you go back and compare your current practices against your values. You may find that you are hard-working, willing to accept the unknown , have a stronger-than-average work ethic and you are willing to help others succeed. Your downfall or weakness may be that you are more willing to give too much, rather than too little - until the well that feeds that spigot of giving begins to run dry. You need to set parameters in that case and stick to them so that you can pace your contribution to last the entire length of your intended career without giving too much nor too little.

I know you may find this laughable but I actually learned that concept from the IRS - they don't expect the citizenry to pay more taxes than they actually owe (although there are many that do and they are the middle to lower levels economically rather than the higher $/economic players).

Good luck & God bless you, it sounds like you're on the right track. Bring the wife or family out west for a vacation, in any case.

#14506 10/03/02 08:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 31
D
Member
hey watt doc,


i know my name is not around ECN much, but hey, we all know how you feel... i did not read all these entries, so i hope i am not repeating. i am 35 and i live with my mother: (i know that is not a repeat), moved back 5 years ago, loser, i know... money was the main reason,and OTHERS. i know the feeling you are going through. your family is the best thing... i wish i had my own. hey,if you need someone to talk to you can email me at danieldamon11@yahoo.com maybe we can talk on the phone, i am good to talk to about things like this... if not,talk to on the ECN....

dan

#14507 10/04/02 10:22 AM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 440
Likes: 3
Member
Thanks again to all. I've felt that I should revisit this thread many times, but circumstances haven't permited me to devote the kind of time that I would like to ECN, much less this thread. You wouldn't think a guy with a name like "The Watt Doctor" would be [Linked Image] by the attention that this thread brought, but I have been. I will say that this thread has been a tremdous lift for me, and I hope that other members will feel free to "vent" from time to time.
One thing that I have learned from all this is that I need a mixture of physical, and office work. It's hard to see progress from behind a desk (others may be able to do it but not me). I always feel better when I contribute by doing part of the work myself. Though taking time off is something that I should do more often, it will be a little more difficult to incorporate into my life. Time off is important, and I am going to have to force myself to do it. The jury is still out (and will be out for some time) on whether I actually carry through with it. Other things I've learned are of a more personal nature, and will most likely remain in this "J-Box" above my neck. I'm sure you all realize that there are a few lose connections, and a bunch of wire nuts up there [Linked Image].
The question remains, "What now?" I think that Chief George "Wounded Leg" Corron answered it well, when he said
Quote
Wish I had a magic solution for you, bro., but there ain't one. One foot in front of the other and eventually the walking becomes normal again.

Walking stick in hand,
Doc


The Watt Doctor
Altura Cogen
Channelview, TX
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