Can't afford to be fit, I'm a pensioner! All those pratts on the telly- jumping about like maniacs and running the mile in 3 minutes 50, no good will come of it, you mark my words, time they're 50 they'll all be cripples! They want to get a proper blinking job, they do, like we had to! When I watch them Olympics, and the winner runs round sticking his finger up, I think, so? you can run fast?, SO WHAT!, I can paint my shed fast, I don't want a gold medal for doing it!
" And the gold medal for creosoting a 50 yard picket fence goes to... Alan Belson of England, in a world record time of 1 hour 22 minutes 10.305 seconds!" Bah! Humbug!
It's all done with drugs anyway, you don't think a normal bloke could fling a hammer 200 feet just by eating Oreos do you?
My recipe for a long life is this; eat what you like, a bit of tobacco, ( clears the lungs that does ), and a nice glass of whiskey of an evening. Walk everywhere practical, and eat 5 pieces of fruit or veg per day. That's it, (apart from not getting overweight). Don't eat margarine,(full of chemicals)- eat butter, but less of it. Drink full-cream milk, all the vitamins are in the cream. Skimmed? Crap, you may as well put emulsion paint in your tea!
Whats that? Secondary smoking? What a load of bilgewater, you've only got to go out on the street- a diesel truck goes past and Wham!, you just 'secondary smoked' 500 cigarettes!
The only time I touch my toes is when I do up my bootlaces, and even then I think, "Is there anything else I can do while I'm down here?"
Now, clear off young un, it's time for my nap!
Alan
