All that I can think of would be to place a gfci in each of your three phase conductors with your lights as a load fed from the gfci. You could then use a cord from each gfci plug to power a relay with n.o. contacts in your main control wiring. This would give you 3 gfci plugs, each with it's own n.o. contact (in series) in the control wiring. A ground fault in any phase would kill the contactor power supply and disconnect all phases.
Not sure if this is what you're looking for though, I don't know why you would want all lights to go out because of a problem in one phase.
Shawn.
