A near neighbor, one of the cockiest ignoramuses, ( or is it ignorami? - no, that's Japanese Paper Folding for cretins), it has ever been my misfortune to cross paths with, once asserted in a loud voice that "Aluminum doesn't conduct electricity." Wherepon my youngest lad, then sixteen, handed him a knitting needle and told him; "Here. Poke this in that lamp socket, then!"
Another gaffe from this moron: One night I got a phone call as I was off early to bed.
"HALLEY BOP!!", bellowed a familiar voice.
"Eh? What? Who's this?"
"It's me! Halley Bop, New Comet, just arrived in the solar system, go and look on the horizon, due east! Bloomin' Marvellous." Click.
So Joe Muggins goes into the garden, freezing cold in shirtsleeves and scans the bloody Universe from one side to the other for ten minutes before realising that the plonker had been looking at the floodlights of our local soccer pitch! Mind you, he was probably warmly tucked up in bed by then, so who was the biggest fool?
When the real Comet turned up months later, after entertaining Trumpy and Co. in the antipodes, it was a bitter disappointment. The floodlights put on a far better show!
Alan
